Lynx Cologne Might Promote Airsex
By Alex Cranz
Lynx (or as we call them in the US, Axe the terrible cologne and makes teenage boys think they’ll get some) have started this new advertising campaign in England where in an angel falls from the heavens because dudes just smell SO GOOD when they wear Lynx.
This is a pretty dumb commercial. One: Why are the angels all ladies? Aren’t angels usually sexless? Lynx man you will be in for a RUDE awakening when those poorly designed outfits fall off.
Two: Those outfits. I mean I get they’re supposed to be skimpy and flimsy like the breath of an angel or something, but those outfits are just cheap looking and badly designed. If you can afford to make some nice looking wings you can afford to give those ladies some color on their clothes. Nude and white are NOT okay color choices or fashion choices.
But that commericial? Only prong one of a multiprong approach. Meet Augmented Reality Angel. Or as I like to call her:
Folks I can only infer from these ads that we’re being invaded by clumsy, sexy angels. No longer will they only assault fourteen year old guys who buy their beauty products at CVS. Now they’re after us all. The women, the children and the businessmen who secretly want to bone each other AND her.
I get the point of this campaign. It’s about brand recognition and getting lots of publicity, but I got some problems with it:
- The aforementioned angel angle. Potentially offensive, Christian-centric and not well thought out. Do I need to bust out the Alan Rickman crotch again?
- The casting of demure young women as your angels. Man, ladies these guys obstensibly smell so good you FELL FROM HEAVEN to be with them. Now is not the time to be all demure and innoncent like. But no, the ad campaign was all “let’s corrupt some hot virgins with our manliness” and that is so old hat that it stopped being offensive and went straight around to boring.
- The augmented reality angel. They knew. They had to know that by making the women untouchable they would promote air humping. It’s like the internet scooped out and stuck in the middle of a train station. They only show a few air humps in the video (WHICH IS MEANT TO ADVERTISE THE AWESOMENESS) but you know there is some guy trying to have air sex with that angel and some other guy is having to hide the air humps from his kid when all he wants to do is take the train home and have some cream sherry and call it a night.
Augmented reality will always have issues taking off as an advertising tool, because when there’s no one actually there to be offended or assaulted then people can do all kinds of things to the fake person. Like air sex. Filthy filthy air sex.