Oh Man. Happy Monday to Me.

Nicolas Cage was arrested on Friday (whaaat? How did I MISS this?) after what can essentially be summarized as an entire day and night of him wandering around, shoving people, and not knowing where he lived. Both tattoos and Dog the Bounty Hunter were involved, which means that this story was officially ripped from the fan fiction I pen in my down time about Nicolas Cage.

Sad Things: His tiny little wife who was a waitress and that’s how they met? He apparently shoved her, though she doesn’t want to press charges. I wrote no fiction about that. Because domestic abuse fan fiction is awkward and cringe-y.


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