Blow Blows: Tainted Cocaine Supply Hits US

Hey guys, here are some reasons not to do cocaine:

1.) Crack is cheaper

2.) Never trust any drug that has you convinced you are the coolest person and everyone loves you because your mom called me, and even she thinks you aren’t pulling off that haircut.

3.) OMG NOW IT WILL ROT THE VERY FLESH OFF YOUR BONES ZOOOMMMMMMG DON’T DO DRUGS!

THERE IS NOTHING GOOD ABOUT THIS!

I am for real not one of these people! I mean, if you develop a fondness of heroin I’m not gonna be all ‘You go, Glenn Coco’ about it but frankly – do you man, and in the immortal words of Mr. Ben Harper “If I’m causing no harm it shouldn’t bother you.” Man. That was a stooooner thing to say and also in fairness, THAT IS ABOUT POT NOT COKE! ME FOR THE WIN. But seriously, while I’m not a drug-doer myself I ain’t gonna get all “Won’t Somebody Think Of The Children” about it or what have you.

UNTIL NOW.

Reports have been hitting the web of cocaine cut with Levamisole, a drug used by vets (ha ha – stay classy drug dealers!) AND IT IS MAKING PEOPLES’ SKIN ROT RIGHT OF! IT IS MAKING FLESH EATING COCAINE. And if that weren’t terrifying enough or like, you aren’t fond of your flesh particularly, it also stops your body from producing white blood cells….LIKE HOW HIV DOES.

Children of the 90s hear me bellow: COCAINE IS THE NEW AIDS.

This has hit 80% of the nation’s coke supply (ha ha – how do they even know that? Could it  be…the government controls our drug supply? GEE I WONDER.)