In my internet stupor, I stumbled upon something fascinating, offensive, terrifying, and hilarious.

Hip-Hop soon-to-be sensation Collette Carr.  One of her big hits is “Bitch Like Me,” which has some really great lyrics, in which she talks about how much awesome sh*t she has to do, so don’t f*ck with her schedule because she will Kut you.

She is so bling she has a ring with her name on it.

I’m pretty sure she is the spawn of all female teenage rage and angst.  And it’s not pretty.  In the song, she brags that she’s always got some dude to drive her around on her late night binges.  She says “one day this stuff’ll take a toll on my body.”

One of my favorite singers is Marilyn Manson.  When I was a teen, my Mom made me return my Anti-Christ Superstar T-Shirt to Hot Topic.

But if she caught me listening to Colette Carr, she might have made me SLEEP in CHURCH.

Sure, Colette herself admits she makes half of this sh*t up.

“Yeah, I make shit up,
But I’m not a liar
Spittin’ fire, gnarled like barbed wire
Gettin’ loud, like an amplifier
Amplifier, like an amplifier.”

But that ain’t gonna stop her from sayin’ it, b*tch.

You might be thinkin’, “why does she exist?”  I’ll tell you.  This girl:

Dev. She got a diamond tattoo, b*tch!

Dev, who lends her voice to Far East Movement’s Like a G6.

I’m not saying that white girls can’t rap.  I’m just saying that this rap SUCKS.   (Warning: if you click on that link you are going to see some sh*t that cannot be unseen.)

And it’s also just offensive in its stupidity, and leads a more-conservative-everyday woman like myself to wonder what the EFF my kids will be listening to by the time I’m a mom.  Lyrics like, “Eff your Momma, grab the kniiiife.”

The long and short of it: Colette Carr’s “music” is what would happen if our teenage daughters wrote angry notes in their closets just after their moms told them to clean their room and stop seeing that “weird” boyfriend.  And I know everyone remembers just how terribly awful it was to be a moody teenager.

So, with Colette debuting her first album this year, do you think her music will have a real impact on teenage girls and their behavior?

I mean… will listening to Colette Carr make our daughters retarded?

I leave you with a fan video, posted by middle school or early high school girls.  It may shock or disturb you.  Know that they claim it was filmed “as a joke.”  But these little girls are clearly having some fun with it.

And, really, is having fun and talking back all that bad?  Are we getting worked up over nothing?

The girls start to skip and do handstands at the end of the video.  Clearly, they are still our daughters, just having fun, pretending to be grown-up.  Shouldn’t they be allowed to use their imaginations?

Maybe they’ll do some imaginary meth one day, too.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_1dXv3Xvaps&w=560&h=349]

  • Julie

    I am appalled reading your write up on Colette Carr. Putting garbage out sells but not a good way of earning living. In your blog you have not mentioned anything about Colette, you are only judging her by the lyrics of a song that was released over two years ago. I have been a fan of her for over a year and know some things about her. The person you critiqued has never used drugs, never smoked. She promotes positive vibes and being true to yourself, many of these comments and how she tries to help some of us can be read on her facebook when she interacts with her fans. It is easy to judge people without facts.

    • http://www.fempop.com Verdoux

      You have every right to like her, and I’m sure you know more about her than I do.  Something about her current persona just rubs me the wrong way…  She’s definitely going to be big.

    • http://www.fempop.com Verdoux

      You have every right to like her, and I’m sure you know more about her than I do.  Something about her current persona just rubs me the wrong way…  She’s definitely going to be big.

  • http://twitter.com/jimmymycrushie Sanya Batra

    You’re a coward. It’s just fun, it’s not anti-spirituality. And that song that doesn’t say she’s got a dude to drive on her late night binges. You’re retarted. You’re just jealous of the freedom in her songs. That song is about a hectic life taking a toll on her. She is sweet. It’s just fun. I love her songs. So enjoyable.