Romance is dead, you guys. And so is Marc Anthony. I mean, he’s not actually dead-dead, he’s undead. As in a vampire. Or possibly a zombie. Maybe some sort of reanimated corpse bent on destruction per the wishes of an evil wizard. Jury is still out on that one. And by Jury I mean the FemPop team of paranormal investigators headed by Francois Arnaud that I have sent to travel the globe for answers – and before you ask, yes, they are all wearing tweed capes.

In their absence it is up to me give you this sad news: The undead entity known as Marc Anthony and the Ass-shaking nonentity known as J Lo have given up on their marriage of seven years.

Who knows why they split? Was it because maybe they should never gotten married? I mean, they said their I Dos FOUR DAYS after Anthony’s previous marriage was officially ended. Also, I think as a rule, that if you are out in public with a man who you have to be very careful not to sit on and crush like a tiny Chinese Crested, maybe don’t marry him?

I mean, it is the end of a marriage, so sadsville – they do have two wee’uns let us remember. But as a plus, we can all rest easy knowing J Lo’s mortal coil is no longer and peril, and as an added bonus, we can all picture Mary Louise Parker cackling with delight at Ms. Lopez’s comeuppance.

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