Prime Gossip – Monday Edition: Kim Kardashian Is So Married, Kim Stewart Is So In Possession Of A Newborn, and Stan Lee Is So Suing Conan

Prime Gossip: FemPop chronicles 3 top gossip items in an effort to immortalize the decline of civilization as we know it. YOU ARE WELCOME SOCIETY!

1.) Kim Kardashian got married. Everyone was all “secrets! Tents! HOW DARE LILO WEAR WHITE!” well guess what – she wore white because the bride made everyone. That’s right. It was a black and white themed wedding. Kim Kardashian: She’s a lot like your cousin from Newark! Shot bar, shot bar, shot bar!

2.) Kim Stewart had a baby girl. Unremarkable news as babies are born everyday. Only this baby is the product of Stewart and Benecio Del Toro. The geneticist community awaits its facial development with eager fascination.

3.) Stan Lee is suing the pants off the Conan movie because he says it’s his character and he needs the moolah. In other news my brother thinks it would be really great is all Stan Lee did was cameos in people’s everyday lives that went entirely unexplained. You’d be like “Was that guy at Subway….STAN LEE?” and it would be, but you couldn’t acknowledge it. Because that’s not how cameos works.

Sources: [The New York Post, TMZ]