Prime Gossip: FemPop chronicles 3 top gossip items in an effort to immortalize the decline of civilization as we know it. YOU ARE WELCOME SOCIETY!

 

roguish!

 

1.) Remember Michaele Salahi? She is the blonder, more-lady looking half of the White House Wedding Crashers. Her husband – the absolutely and quite clinically insane Tareq has reported her as being kidnapped. Which, is, you know, desperately alarming? But probably not true? Also if your wife has been kidnapped maybe get off the phone with TMZ and uh, free up the lines or some such nonsense. I hope Andy Cohen kidnapped her and has her locked in some Bravo basement jail-cell for failed Houseswives franchises.

 

2.) Can you imagine George Clooney being dissapointed in you? I get the same feeling in my tummy as when my dad is dissapointed in my just thinking about it. But an entirely different feeling in my pants. Boom! Ha ha. Sex jokes. But anyway, some journalist asked Clooney a question about his dating life (relatively tame – “which is harder to do under a spotlight, direct or date?” I mean come on – he could’ve been like “I hear you like to poop on ladies’ naked chests, please confirm.”*) which Clooney doesn’t stand for and he straight up was all “I am dissapointed in front of you,” and maaaaaan it sucks to be that guy.

 

3.) There are naked pictures of ScarJo on the internet and the FBI is hunting them down….TO JERK IT TO! I kid, I kid, they want to find out how these photos leaked because ScarJo suspects foul play. So now leave FemPop and go look at her ass and boobs and then spend the rest of your day try to imagine by what combination of strange alchemy and scotch tape would be involved to make your own bits of business do that.

 

 

 

*Um this is actually the first piece of confirmed Clooney gossip I can you. DO NOT ASK ME HOW BECAUSE DAMMIT JIM, I’M A BLOGGER NOT A JOURNALIST.

 

 

 

Sources: [LA Times, HuffPo, Access Hollywood]


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