Minka Kelly: The Ass Slap Heard ‘Round The World!

yo Drover, you can put them bulls in my big metal ship anyday.

1.) Minka Kelly’s ass got slapped and it was NOT Big Tim Riggins doin’ the whalloping! A Charlie’s Angels crew member did the whacking! The story started out hilariously – he’d done it while holding a hundie, and then she’d slapped him back across the face. But what actually happened is a lot more awesome – he just plain old slapped that ass, and she turned around and said, “Don’t ever treat me or any other woman like that EVER again.” She didn’t even want him to get fired because he has a family to support. But fired he was. AND I SUPPORT THIS. Minka Kelly, I now resolve to be able to tell you apart from Leighton Meester for always. [Miami Herald]

2.) Emily Deschanel has spawned. Mother and child are doing well! His named is Henry and Rickety Cricket from Sunny is his dad. This is all well and good, but Bones doesn’t air until November and is half a season long and thus I am mad at Emily Deschanel. Also her sister is on my shit list. FOR BEING CUTER THAN ME. [LA Times]

3.) Ryan Gosling’s clock is ticking. Um yeah, he said he wants to retire and have babies so Alex wanna cancel my assignments because I’ve got to hop on my bike and have an epic cross country adventure in order to both woo and become impregnated by Mr. Gosling? If it helps I will write it up for the site? I will name MY FIRST BORN FEMPOP IF WE CAN MAKE THIS HAPPEN! [Access Hollywood]