Gwyneth Paltrow Hungover! Demi Moore Quotes The Greeks!

1.) Demi Moore is passive agressive. Man. I don’t know if these Ashton-and-Demi-Divorce rumors are true, but having you been READING her tweets? The night before their anniversameray, while Ashton was allegedly partying with a hat on, Demi whipped out some Epictetus (SCHOLAR MOORE!) being all ” When we are offended at any man’s fault, turn to yourself study your own failings. Then you will forget your anger.” Which…..seems like a lot of characters for twitter. WAS IT ONE TWEET? QUICKLY – TO GOOGLE! (this is my thing I yell on the site right now.)

2.) Holly Madison’s boobs are of impressive worth. Or so she thinks. She had them insured for a million dollars. Me too you guys. So if you want to attack my mams with acid and join me in a insurance fraud scheme, holla back now! (Second references to my own breasts today! BEHOLD!) If you don’t know how Holly Madison is, I 1.) applaud you and 2.) will quietly tell you that she used to sit on Hugh Hefner’s penis, and then start crying. Me crying not her. Or god, maybe both – all of us – together!

3.) Gwyneth Paltrow is hungover and also my best friend. She just turned 39! She has the same birthday as my roommate. They have nothing in common. Wait….they are both of Jewish descent? Well Gwyneth half is. And they both spend a lot of time in NY? Annnnnnnnnnnnnnd Have Es in their first name? THIS IS THE BEST GOSSIP POST OF ALL TIME. Anyway GP drank too much at her bday party and got plowed. I love that. I wish I’d been there. My roommate hasn’t had her bday fete yet, but when she does I’ll post all the details so you guys can come hang out. Maybe Saturday? Saturday. Cool.

roguish!

Sources: [Sky News, Entertainment News,  Us Magazine]