Disney Is NOT Taking a Dump On Your Childhood With 3D Releases

After the mega success of Lion King 3D Disney is doing the only logical thing they CAN do and re-releasing The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, Monsters Inc and Finding Nemo.

Purists are flipping the fuck out because OH MY GOD THREE DIMENSIONS.

Sane people (of which I am one at this moment in time) are shrugging or even getting excited about the releases. Disney’s often done re-releases. Its how my sister and I saw Song of the South. It’s not a new phenomenon and for parents and film nerds it’s a welcome one. Getting to show these films to your kids on a big screen in a theater with the films all cleaned up and modernized? Heck to the yes. If the 3D scares you (Lion King’s 3D was apparently shoddy as hell) then hit the 2D matinée.

Do not, under any circumstances, give into hyperbole and wail about the childhood raping and shitting. Because an extra dimension is not the same thing as a BLINKING EWOK PEOPLE.

This is what we call PERSPECTIVE.

And I can see both Beauty and the Beast and Monsters Inc lending themselves beautifully to 3D. Imagine the ballroom scene in 3D. I’ll probably cry.

That CGI background is still breathtaking twenty years later.

As for the Lion King release, I had to skip it because I might still be ashamed of the time I made my family listen to Hakuna Matata non-stop from North Texas to Nebraska. It ended with the tape flying into the Nebraska sunset as my mother sighed in relief and I wept like the eleven year old with important feelings that I was.

Sadly no pictures were taken of the event.

Release Dates

• Beauty and the Beast originally screened in 1991 and re-released January 13, 2012.
• Finding Nemo originally screened in 2003 and re-released September 14, 2012.
• Monsters Inc originally screened in 2001 and re-released January 18, 2013. (The prequel, Monsters University, arrives June 21, 2013)
• The Little Mermaid originally screened in 1989 and re-released September 13, 2013.