Ratner Claims To Bang Olivia; Recants When Reality Sets In
By Alex Cranz
So Brett Ratner apologized this evening and I immediately said “for being a bland and ineffectual filmmaker?” And then I made an X-Men 3 joke.
After that I read all about what he’s been up to.
I was pretty out of the loop because his name is enough to make me ignore any headline involving him.
The only reason I know what the what is now is because I saw his named paired with Oscars and was horrified by the sight.
Here’s what went down. Ratner has been making the rounds for his mildly racist, entirely meh film Tower Heist. He’s been showing up on talk shows, the news, and Howard Stern’s show. Because it’s apparently 1995 and Howard Stern is relevant again.
And while making the rounds he said super smart director things like “rehearsals are for faggots” and “I banged Olivia Munn and forgot about her.”
Super class act. Especially as it was also just announced that he’d be directing the Oscars and that that show kind of requires things like rehearsals and the female population of Hollywood.
Naturally the Oscars were displeased. Probably because, like me, they read it as Olivia Wilde and were INCENSED that he presumed to claim to bang her.
Then they realized it was Munn, were like OH HER, and got incensed because even that woman is better than Ratner. Also because he was flat-out lying about Munn and using a homophobic slur and mocking rehearsals WHICH ARE VITAL TO GOOD SHOWS OF ANY ILK. Those are reasons too.
So he had to give up the Oscars AND apologize. It’s a terrible apology largely because if you’ve ever heard this guy talk in interviews or seen his films you know for a fact he thinks like a 20-year-old mook a keg stand away from alcohol poisoning. That apology was straight up damage control.
But it’s too late. I already have the image of precious Olivia Wilde banging the Ratner in my head and the brain bleach is all the way on the other side of the house. The only relief I can take from all this is that it’s unlikely I’ll ever see Ratner’s name in the same sentence as the Oscars again, and that his personal brand of terrible misogyny got slapped down hardcore.