1. Tom Cruise has placenta put on his face to keep him young. Placenta is the thing in a lady’s babymaker that feeds the baby. It’s like a human-made pop tart that spews forth from the vagina. You’re welcome. Also remember how in Silence of the Lambs Hannibal peels off that guy’s face and wears it as a disguise? Yeah? Oh, no reason. [Jezebel]
  2. Kenny’s G wife filed for divorce. They had been married twenty years or I’d make the “she finally realized she was married to Kenny G and acted accordingly” joke. Also worthy of note, how does he keep his mane frizz free? Do you think he uses a diffuser? [E!]
  3. In a continuing bid to gross me out forever and all of time, Jennifer Carpenter and Michael C. Hall, who play siblings on Dexter and who used to be married, are apparently dating and making out in restaurants. They are also still playing brother and sister and once Jennifer Carpenter shoved my brother on the street. That is all. [NY Post]