Bomb Girls: Downton Abbey For Badasses
By Alex Cranz
We all love Downton Abbey. It’s soapy good fun where everyone talks all old timey and they have to wear goggles and gloves to drive and you want to dissect every episode until you realize you spent one entire episode deeply concerned with the status of Matthew’s junk.
Bomb Girls is like that in that you do sometimes have to question the status of wheelchair bound dudes’ junk and everyone talks old timey and it is soapy. But also it isn’t rehashing Upstairs, Downstairs class stratification themes. Instead it is about a bunch of Canadian women in 1941 building bombs to blow up Nazis and having romantic problems while catchy tunes play and people talk about “gams” and “socking people in the kisser.”
The main focus are on four ladies:
- Meg Tilly. She is like 50 and has two sons at war and a daughter that works in a hospital and is super patriotic and hates Italians and her husband is depressed because he’s Matthew from Downton Abbey and has been wheelchair bound since the Great War. Also she wants to bone Hunky I-Talian but can’t because of her racism and patriotism and status as a married person.
- Rich Bitch. She wants to build bombs to prove to her family that she isn’t just her enormous wallet. Also she is in love with a wealthy American boy and may have accidentally become engaged to a Canadian boy fightin’ Nazis.
- Simpering Church Singer. Her religious nut dad abused her and she ran away and changed her name and yearns to sing but is all abused and has no self-esteem. But if someone will help her she will blossom into a badass.
- Badass Probable Lesbian. She is the sassiest one, and also the most competent and most likeable. She also stares at Simpering Church Singer’s sexy photos (it is part of a thing that happened) and wears pants so she is almost 150% gay and ready to make Simpering Church Singer blossom. And yes that was a double entendre.
- Hunky I-Talian. It is the 40s so everyone judges him because he came from a land where the cuisine is great. They pronounce the “I” in italian and are mean to him. But he’s young and hunky and maybe wants to make cannoli with Meg Tilly.
- Meg Tilly’s Husband. Her husband. He’s in a wheelchair and bitter about it but sometimes he writes letters to children and helps them fly kites so he’s either secretly nice or a pedophile.
- Scarface. In the first episode you’ll call her “other blond” until a hook gets caught in her hair AND SHE IS SCALPED. Then she is Scarface. It gives her issues…also a giant scar BECAUSE SHE GETS SCALPED. AAAAAH.
- Magical Singing Negro. This guy is problematical because he’s a magical singing negro, but Simpering Church Singer may have feelings for him so at some point he could be developed into something beyond a racist caricature. In which case he will be Singing Badass in reference to how he is introduced and he will be in a love triangle with aforementioned Church Singer and Badass Probable Lesbian.
- Interchangeable Bland Canadian/American Hunks. There are a bunch of these. I stopped caring about them.
All of these characters fight Nazis by building bombs. Also they dance. Also they show the beginning of women’s emancipation in the 40s and outside of A League of Their Own that isn’t often a thing. Also they have really dumb dialogue that sounds like it should be spoken with a British accent, but it isn’t because this show is Canadian boss.
No word on when this will be making like Eddie Murphy and Arsenio Hall and coming to America but you can find it now by googling “Bomb Girls” and things that rhyme with either Schmubtube or Schmorrent.
And when you finish the first season and weep because of all the feelings it gave you take heart because the second season has already been ordered and is twice as long.
P.S. Four out of six episodes are directed by women! And directed well!