Sandra Oh can make eating cereal the most fascinating thing in the world. She had maybe three lines in the episode last night but every second she was on-screen she was imminently watchable. Processing betrayal and working to overcome it. She was this ball of fury tamped down tightly. And opposite her was Owen Hunt. Who has gone from the tortured Bronte hero to the biggest dude on television.

Once upon a time Owen seemed to consider others. He seemed to have feelings for something outside his own myopic little world, but then Cristina had an abortion and since then he’s grasping as ways that he might regain some of the control he felt she stole.

So he cheated on her.

Then he demanded they talk about it.

He demanded she forgive him.

He demanded she suffer in silence opposite him at the dinner table.

This is what she thinks of your demands!

Owen continues to be representative of a whole swath of the population of America who is perfectly content as long as they have power, but when that power is taken. When women have abortions or a black man is elected President they rebel. They act out with racial slurs and horrific legislation. Yeah, I just said Owen cheating on Cristina is the same as Texas pushing an asinine ultrasound law. Deal with it.

Kind of like how Teddy FINALLY dealt with her Dead Man Walking husband Henry. (Did you like that transition? Me too.) Much of the hour was given over to her helping a patient who saw a lion and had a heart attack. He’s on his anniversary vacation with his wife and as soon as he showed up I was all “DEAD MAN WALKING.”

Basically Henry...if he was old....with a mole.

Only they did a switcheroo! And when she came out to give the wife the good news that he’d averted death (a magnificent feat on this show) the lady was dead!

I would have been profoundly moved by Teddy delivering the sad news, but I was more concerned with other things in the episode. Still her bookends of grief surrounding the story were most excellent. First with the schooling of the whiny widow of some heart failure guy to everyone’s horror but mine and then her moment in the bathroom where she pulled herself together. It was gripping a nice showcase for Kim Raver.

Only I honestly don’t care.

Because guys there was a lion and it mauled people. The mauling brought into play all sorts of relationships. Like the Callie/Mark friendship which we haven’t seen much of lately. And the Richard/Avery thing which will get AWESOME when Richard starts banging Avery’s mom at some point in the distant future.

Also because Owen went to appeal to Meredith and she was all

WHAT.

Then she threatened to kill a confused Derek and demanded he make a blood oath to the Klingons to never ever ever cheat on her ever….until some dreamy dark intern shows up and steals his penis away like Meredith did the last time he was married.

Also Derek? POT STIRRER. Lexie begs him to help figure out her feelings for Mark and he says no. Then she calls him her big brother and he gets all fraternal and STIRS THE POT by telling her to fess up to Mark her feelings.

1. POT STIRRER. DUDE YOU BE CREATING DRAMA.

2. Why is he moved by her calling him her brother? Doesn’t he have like 40 sisters? Like he can’t bother to go to his one sister’s intervention but he can find the time to tell Lexie to follow her heart? Derek Shepherd is a shitty brother.

But he's still adorable so we forgive him and his dramabomb ways.

Lastly, and most importantly, it turns out Arizona Robbins is just as dark and fun as the rest of the crew. First she lets Alex off her service in the hopes that he’ll go take pictures of lion inflicted wounds. Then she’s revealed to be a total lady player. It was my not so secret hope that she would end up being the lady version of Mark Sloan because hilarious, and also logical, but to have it actually happen was too much for me.

Especially when she starts going down the list of women she banged WHO ARE JUST IN THE CAFETERIA. Also. She’s not into threesomes.

Nice to know she draws a line somewhere, and that where is incestuous threesomes.

But she does have a thing for brunettes.

Back in season seven two couples who hadn’t been together that long both got married and they were perhaps…ill advised marriages. Owen and Cristina getting married while she’s depressed, suffering from PTSD and unwilling to do anything but have sex? Not so great an idea! And Arizona and Callie getting married so Arizona can be smug around Mark? Not such a great idea!

I’ve long chalked up these hasty weddings to some not so hot writing, but now, in the waning days of season eight Shonda Rhimes and company are revisiting the marriages, and, more importantly, bringing all those problems back into play.

Like Cristina and Owen. If their relationship were more than sex and drama wouldn’t they have sorted out the baby thing BEFORE they got married? And Arizona and Callie got married with Callie knowing next to nothing about her wife! What if she’s got ex wives waiting in the wings? Or a bevy of kids she provided for some gay BFF named Todd? We’ve established she likes to flee when things get tough (which is why her being a serial lady banger is no surprise). It could be a thing. Oh please make it a thing. You’re a soap Grey’s. Some gay former BFF showing up with Robbin’s child is a MUST.

Preferably while a lion watches.

I've been watching a lot of Archer so lions are basically my ocelot. It's a LION GUYS.

Notes

  • Bailey went out of her way to forgive Owen for his affair. And she quoted herself from back when she forgave George for cheating on Callie. Lady has a thing for dudes who sleep around.
  • Everyone calling the cat lady crazy? You are the best.
  • Alex was mean to his intern and she was sad and if you were floating that boat consider your ship sunk.
  • Jonathan from Buffy! Only MAULED BY A LION. He stuck his hand into the jaws of a dragon like a knight people. Respect.
  • I enjoy how it was Mark who told Callie she had no right to be jealous. Because. Valid.
  • Next Week: More splashing of junk into Owen’s face! Lots of loud couple yelling which always makes me nervous! Mark as chief because the men are always the authority figures and it’s vaguely sexist but whatever! Bailey, Callie, Arizona and Teddy do a drunken sleepover! Guess which of these things I’m excited about.
  • Alida Priest

    I love your tags on this. So much. Every last one of them.