Mr. Darcy is not dating Kim Kardashian

  1. I went on vacation and the world decided it was time to be hilarious – Kim Kardashian is dating Kanye West. This makes perfect, perfect, perfect sense – totally explains why the world stills spins around merrily on its axis. And, Ima let their relationship finish, but Kim and Kris had the best relationship of all time! I AM SO SO SORRY I JUST DID THAT GUYS! But anyway – yeah, sure, they are love, okay – all I have to say about this is maybe if you are going to insist that your entire life isn’t a marketing scheme maybe don’t DO THINGS THAT COMPLETELY CONTRADICT YOUR ASSERTIONS! [HuffPo]
  2. I fade in and out of the various incarnations of the Real Housewives universe. Honestly I watch it mainly when I am 1.) getting ready to go out and need inspiration for makeup – NO JOKE and 2.) when I want to read the clever internet recaps and not feel like I am on the outside looking in. Also when I am drunk. Still, I watch enough of the show to know who Tamra Bailey of the RHOC is and to be taken aback and mildly impressed to hear her discussing her cervical cancer scare. I mean I do not think it is awesome that she had cancer, but I do think it’s awesome that a woman would could make a career out of drinking white wine and being emotionally unstable instead has chosen to talk about aspects of her life that could help other ladies. More of this! [NYDN]
  3. Man, so Amanda Bynes got a DUI the other day, huh? I don’t really have a lot to say about this other than it is a terrible idea to drink and drive and also remember that time Amanda Bynes dramatically quit acting on Twitter and we were all “oh damn, now there will be no more movies wherein Amanda Bynes pretends to be a dude – poorly – with hilarious results.” Yeah. Yeah. [TMZ]