Miley Cyrus Hospitalized! Angelina And Brad Privatized! Anna Paquin Semenized!
- Ha ha, you guys, you guys – Anna Paquin and her husband/co-star Stephen Moyer are having a baby! But that’s not why I’m laughing. I am laughing because of the article I’ve linked to here is all “True Blood? More like True Baby!” And really guys what does that even mean? What does it even mean, right? Do celebrities usually have fake babies (BEYONCE?) made of sweetness and sugar cubes? Ridiculous. So simply to continue with the theme I’m going say True Blood Lovers Show That Pregnancy Doesn’t….Suck! HA! In other news I think I would have a hard time filming explicit sex scenes whilst pregnant. Although I feel like Alexander Skarsgard might be into that? Right? He looks like one of those guys. Anyway, congrats to the happy couple, and I sincerely hope you eat your own placenta and post it on the internet for Skarsgard edification. [HuffPo]
- I did not even read the article I have linked to here. The headline was all I needed. E! asks ‘How Can Angelina Jolie Possibly Keep Her Wedding Private?’ to which I immediately and vocally responded by saying “Having it in a secret underwater cave or the bones of the once glorious Titanic - or maybe in outer space. Next question, Hollywood and be quick about it! Me and my killer ability to solve all celebrity problems don’t have all day!” Yes we do. [E!]
- Miley Cyrus cut off all of her fingers last night, and then went to the ER demanding that they be replaced with the digits of ” one of them there singing fancy time robot ladies!” Only the press is saying she was “cooking” and “cut her hand” – aren’t you glad you know the TRUTH? [TMZ]