Can A Rape Joke Be Funny?

I’m a flippin’ white dude. A friend of mine, a flippin’ white dudette, recently had it out with a guy in a Facebook thread on this issue. The guy was arguing theory of comedy. She argued the reality of rape. His arguments were rather surface. Hers conveyed a deeper understanding of the underlying problem with the situation–rape culture, normalization, etc. I stayed out of it, but not because I didn’t care about the issues.

I’m an aspiring writer and a fan of comedy, and those interests often overlap. I’ve been struggling to find my own personal stance on the question you pose in your title. I know that probably seems a bit selfish, to think about my own personal issue when there are much larger issues at stake, but that’s pretty normal, right? To look at big pictures and, rather humanly, think, “Yeah, but where do I fit in?”

I sought definitions, too, seeking to settle my own conscience, especially”What constitutes a ‘rape joke’?” Is the Celebrity Jeopardy bit where Sean Connery mispronounces “Therapist” a “rape joke”? Oh crap, I laughed at that. And what about the “Analrapist” joke from Arrested Development? I love that show! Crap…am I awful? Are those rape jokes? Isn’t that more about character and word play? And even if it is more abut character and word play, isn’t it still using rape as a device? Such were my questions.

Interestingly, (to me, anyway) about a week before this Tosh thing, a friend of mine wanted me to play a role in his comedy film. The character’s name was F. Ace Rapist. The fact is, it’s incredibly lame and obvious, but the context is that of self-awareness and self-deprecation over the lameness of the joke of the character’s name (“Is that really a rape joke?” went my mind then, too) and the dialogue (not rape-based) was funny to me. I told him that I wanted to be in his film, but I was uncomfortable with the name. We debated back and forth for days and I explained my issues (several explained fantastically in your article). Ultimately bottom line was:
1. I have a full time job. I want credit in the film because I like the film overall so leaving me out of the credits isn’t an option for me, but given my job, I can’t have my last name and “rapist” popping up in a Google search. 2. While I can’t bring myself to say “a rape joke can absolutely NEVER be funny” (sound familiar?), and while “offending” people wasn’t my concern, I didn’t want to be the catalyst for causing someone in the audience trauma or pain for the sake of comedy.

He brought up the fact that I’ve played a rapist in an indie drama, and asked how it was different. It was an interesting question. Wouldn’t that potentially be equally as triggering to an audience member as the comedy he was making?
I had a hard time finding an answer for that. The best my brain could do was think, “Yes, but the drama treated the issue seriously. And while, yes, it still used rape as a device…and could be equally as triggering…it’s treating the subject with some respect and reverence.” To which the other side of my brain went, “Yeah, but comedy is, by its nature, irreverent. And if your whole point is that you don’t want to trigger trauma for viewers…than regardless of “respect,” you’re still causing pain.”
Can you tell my brain is still bouncing that one around?

In any case, I told him if he wanted me and my voice and my skill, he’d need to change the name. If he felt that “F. Ace Rapist” was the best he could come up with and was just too damn crucial to the whole film, that was fine, he’d just need to find another actor. He’s changing it so that I’m in it, but he’s not happy.
I also posited that it seemed a bit strange that comics were more leery about saying the n-word than they were about saying rape. I mean, I know Louis C.K. can prove me wrong, but in general, white dudes will avoid saying the n-word for comedic purposes more so than they would rape. I’m not a fan of either, but isn’t that odd? We’ve generally accepted that to use the n-word is offensive and wrong, and, as white people, we can’t just bandy it about. No one really fights this. It’s accepted. And yet, rape jokes are flung pretty casually. Why?

One friend and I even debated whether or not acceptance of “rape fantasy” fetishists was equally as bad, for aren’t they simulating a horror for their own pleasure? If not in the literal act than at least in the name of the fetish itself?

And in the middle of that, with Sokka-like timing, the Tosh thing hit, and it started up the conversation again. And the aforementioned Facebook thread occurred among other friends. And I thought, for my own soul-searching benefit, I’d write something long, exhaustive, horribly incomplete and likely insensitive because my flippin’ white dudeness inhibits me from being able to wholly appreciate and understand the issue. I would feebly try to collect all the terms being thrown around this issue, “censorship,” “comedy,” “offensive” “triggering” “rape joke” and try to find an answer. I, some schmuck in the ‘burbs, was gonna try to tackle this monster. I would try to define for myself where I stood, why I stood there. I’d call it, “Why Rape Jokes Might Not Be Ok.”

It was a working title.

So I set out to do some research and came across this article that you posted today. First thing I saw. And, in like, a tenth of the length in what I would’ve written, you summed up my thoughts. “Yes, it’s potentially possible for rape to be funny, but it’s way risky, and if you think the risk is worth it, well, that’s kind of effed up.” Because it’s not about censoring “offensive” humor, it’s about being humanly decent enough to want to avoid inducing trauma and pain.

Now, granted, some of my above questions are still bouncing around, like what constitutes a rape joke and the others, and new ones are still coming up, like where does one draw the line on avoiding inducing trauma and pain? Can I never casually say in public, “Dude, you ate the last cookie! I’m gonna kill you!” because someone within earshot may have been the victim of an attempted murder?

But that’s life, figuring out hard questions, and this article helped me to concisely define my own line regarding this issue, and it did so awesomely and succinctly. So thank you very, very much.

Avatar rules.

M