Do not be the current black man hanging out with the good guys.

Tyreese run as fast and as far as you can sir.

Do not be a woman of color. You will say nothing and either disappear or frustrate everyone with your mysterious motivations and apparently bull-headed stupidity.

Mrs. Morales set off for Birmingham. Maybe she made it. Jacqui…did not make it. Michonne…is confusing.

Do not be friends with Frank Darabont. Your character will be annoying for many many episodes. They may die. Either way everyone will hate you.

Andrea I worry for your brain meats.

Do not be a conventionally attractive white woman. You start out well enough, but then you’ll grow irritating and when you’ve become too insufferable you will die and everyone will still hate you because, man, you were really the worst while your mouth was open and not hungering for brains.

Seriously Andrea get out of town. You were once Marita Covarrubias. You know a thing or two about disappearing.

Do not be a little girl.

You will die.

Do not fuck with Daryl.

He will kill your face.

Do be friends with Glenn. He has the magic touch and will either charm you into goodliness or sex you up or both.

Though it will cause you to later be threatened with rape by an evil dude and then force you to betray your friends so you can save sweet sweet Glenn. But maybe Glenn outweighs the suckitude that is sexual assault and betrayal?

Do be a white dude. Any white dude. Doesn’t matter. You white? You a dude? You GOT DIS.

Dude gets bit by a zombie, gets his leg chopped off, has no access to doctors or medical stuff or anything. STILL ALIVE. DOIN’ PRETTY OKAY.

Do you have any other tips for surviving AMC’s zombie apocalypse?

  • Die hard

    Why did Dale have to die so early, (Mr. Wise Guy-my name for Dale)? Why couldn’t he just lose an hand to a zombie? Andrea is really starting to piss me off–where’s her brains or logical thinking? I like Daryl and Merle’s the beginning it wasn’t hard for me to figure out that both of them red-necks were related-LMAO!

    You’re giving the old dude to much credit, because he’s useless with one-leg and it took him to long to come around! Glen’s ok for an Asian like Daryl said in the beginning, but when Daryl asked Glen what did he do before all of this, Glenn’s reply should have been I was a Army Ranger-Scout, Delta Force or Navy Seal, but then that would have implied that Glenn’s character was too strong…I guess pizza deliver boy was appropriate!

    What ever you do don’t kill off Maggie she’s one-hot country girl…yum! However I’m glad you killed off Tyreese and re-invented him, because his character was causing my blood pressure to go up..where’s that Black-Ethno-Centric Character, (its a live and well in Michonne)? Black prisoner was ok and Michonne is interesting and she’s a good fighter…the two zombies in chain with no arms was strange and good! Thanks for The Walking Dead Series, if it sounds like I was complaining I wasn’t-just hypothesizing or thinking out loud!

  • Dale should have been killed off earlier. He was one of the most stupid, insufferable, patronizing, characters on the show. Good riddance.

    We got more character background on T-Dog after he died than when he was alive, and he’s been there since the beginning! How sad is that?

  • MsJack

    Do not be pregnant in a television show or movie, EVER. You will almost certainly be killed in childbirth (TWD, Jersey Girl, The Fly II, Darla in Angel) or have something terrible happen to you that will eventually lead to your death (Cordelia in Angel; falls into a coma after giving birth to Jasmine and eventually dies in her coma). Note that this will happen even if such a death contradicts the established continuity of your character (Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith). There is no such thing as a healthy and satisfying pregnancy or childbirth experience that was planned and executed with minimal to no trauma to the mother. Pregnancy and childbirth only exist in film and television as plot devices or for disposing of unwanted female characters.