Ruth Wilson is about to blow the top off of Hollywood. Mark my words. She’s been tearing it up in the UK with things like Jane Eyre and her turn as a super fun serial killer in Luther and she has a bizarre if great turn as Cousin Besty in Anna Karenina. She just hasn’t been seen by many more than the Anglophiles. That could change if she’s cast in the secret female role for the Avengers sequel.

Until then we must be satisfied with her small role as the Lone Ranger’s wife, because this is Ruth Wilson and we’ll probably all come out of the theater wondering why the movie wasn’t about her instead of her tall, All American husband.

She’s all “Oh you didn’t know I was in this movie and almost make you forget the horrible racism? How sad for you.”

Oh and Helena Bonham Carter, apparently contracted to appear in all of Johnny Depp’s films until one of them dies or they finally make out and live happily ever after, appears in this one. They’ll probably flirt and then he’ll murder her for a laugh. While swinging mewling infants over his head and “woo wooing” because HOLY HELL WHAT IS HAPPENING?

Seriously. Did no one tell Johnny Depp and Gore Verbinski that a stilted speaking Tonto in face paint with a dead bird on his head and a mishmash of Native cultures at his beck and call is so outdated even the 50s are vaguely scandalized?

Verbinski I can maybe understand. He’s not from around here so he might have missed out on America’s systematic erasure of Native nations and their cultures. But Depp sir, your lily-white 1/16th Cherokee ass should know better.

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