It’s Really Hard To Love A Self Destructive Person On Grey’s Anatomy
By Alex Cranz
What’s real family?
What’s real love?
That’s sort of the undercurrent of this episode. Who loves more wholly: Meredith who never leaves Richard’s side or Callie who turns her back on a denial driven Arizona?
After all, both Meredith and Callie are struggling with obstinate a-holes who refuse to see or understand how their actions affect others.
Richard chose Meredith as his family not because of sentiment, but because he thinks she can be the unsentimental one. She can make those tough and nasty calls just like her mother (a woman Richard once loved deeply). He’s disappointed when she wavers. Ashamed.
And Meredith, this happy and healthy (relatively speaking) season 10 Meredith, is appalled. Because her definition of love and family and duty have changed drastically and a quiet kind of sentimentality has very much become her core. She sticks by Richard even as he’s cruel and even after he’s repeatedly refused help, because she’s finally to a point where she can provide the support he doesn’t even see he needs.
As Meredith’s complimentary character, Callie was always too sentimental. She told herself George was her McDreamy and has often loved completely and to the point of excess. It took Callie eight years but she did something last night that was neither sentimental or gooey. While Meredith fought no matter how much it hurt her Callie chose to walk away knowing it would ruin the last vestiges of her marriage, but knowing that staying would only be worse.
Both are acts of love. Neither loves more when they make these calls that seem to counter so much of what we once knew of these characters.
Because when you see someone being as self-destructive and blind as Arizona has become it’s hard too. Callie isn’t new to this like Meredith. She stayed all last year. When Arizona was mad and bitter and destroyed Callie still stayed. But she reaches that point where all it is doing was perpetuating the problem, and as much as she loved–loves–Arizona, she can’t be there.
And we know this is an expression of love not just because of how devastated Sara Ramirez plays it, but because Cristina has done the EXACT same thing before her. They’ve both left these relationships with people they love because they can’t be the person Owen and Arizona need. Callie can’t support a wife who won’t reflect on her own significant issues, and Cristina can’t have the children Owen needs.
What’s real family and real love? In the Grey’s world those who stay and those who walk away are both the real thing. There’s enough room there for both Meredith to sit at Richard’s bedside and Alex to throw Jo over his shoulder and Callie to turn her back on Arizona and Cristina to tell Owen she can’t touch his arm.
- So this episode was one of those “lull” episodes and actually a little…boring. Which was odd because the Jolex storyline nailed it, Cristina nailed it, Owen outsmarting Jackson nailed it, heck even Leah trying to save a woman so she wouldn’t have to tell the lady’s husband an awful story just nailed it.
- Despite all the nailing, the high stakes stories were the two that were featured the least. But it looks like both the Richard story and the Calzona story ramp up next week in the 200th episode.
- Shane stepped up and I didn’t hate him, which is good because I love the actor. THANK YOU SHANE.
- Stephanie and Jackson were together and she’s kind of not as awesome when she’s with him, but she did judge him for fat sucking so yea Stephanie.
- Callie living with Merder is something I always HOPED would happen but never actually thought WOULD happen and it is perfect.
- Jessica Capshaw wasn’t in much of the episode, but she made her scenes count. Arizona is a woman in complete denial.
- Kepner passed her boards! And separated from Jackson she’s really awesome!
- Which leads me to…why is Jackson so irritating? I don’t understand it. Also, where was his mom?
- But Jo saying she needs sex because it’s her last pair of sexy underwear and she’s tired of constant grooming. Damn it Jo. Stop being so likable.