Kickpuncher

Contributing Writer

• “Peter Parker Dating A Supermodel Is So Ridiculous!”

  No comments yetPosted in Kickpuncher's CornerMar 15, 2013

  

  “What next, a man being bitten by a radioactive spider and getting some sort of spider-powers? Or dressing up in a costume to fight crime? Or fighting crime in the form of a huge guy dressed like a rhino, or an old guy dressed like a vulture, or an electric guy dressed like a lightning bolt?”

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• A List Of Female Celebs We’re Supposed To Hate But I Don’t?

  1 Comment »Posted in Kickpuncher's CornerMar 11, 2013

  

  Kickpuncher highlight a group of famous ladies that everyone has unreasonable hatred for because they’re ladies even though that’s extremely sexist and dumb you guys.

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• Please, No Jedi Babies: 5 Stand-Alone Star Wars Movies That Won’t Have Anyone Shooting First

  1 Comment »Posted in Kickpuncher's CornerFeb 12, 2013

  

  Kickpuncher outlines the five films Star Wars fans think they want and the five films they ACTUALLY want. Idris Elba’s face is involved.

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• Side Effects Poses An Important Question To A Troubled Nation: Bitches, Huh?

  1 Comment »Posted in Featured Articles, Kickpuncher's CornerFeb 11, 2013

  

  Steven Soderburgh’s new film, Side Effects masquerades as a spiritual sequel to Traffic and Contagion but quickly devolves into an early 90s misogynistic thriller.

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• The Top Ten Movies of 2012 (that could’ve been better)

  2 Comments »Posted in Featured Articles, Kickpuncher's CornerJan 18, 2013

  

  Every year, a critic wraps up the last twelve months by compiling Top Ten lists of the best and worst movies that were released. Hollywood considerately makes this easier by only releasing ten good movies a year, and countless bad ones since everyone would prefer to read about what a pile of shit The Amazing [...]

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• Doctor Octopus Never Had Raping Hentai Tentacles; Marvel Let’s Not Start Now

  5 Comments »Posted in Kickpuncher's CornerJan 2, 2013

  

  Okay, so I’m going to discuss Amazing Spider-Man 700 and rape subtext and such, but of course if you had any sense you stopped reading at Brand New Day and don’t care. Alright? Spoilers ahead. I’m assuming you know the basic premise of Superior Spider-Man. Spider-Man and Doctor Octopus switch bodies, Spidey dies in Ock’s, [...]

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• How Do I Say Shailene Woodley Isn’t Going To Make A Good Mary Jane Watson?

  6 Comments »Posted in Kickpuncher's CornerDec 18, 2012

  

  Storytime, kiddies! Back in the dark and primitive time known as the 90s, someone thought of making a new Superman movie. Of course, the people in charge had no way of knowing that they would end up with Superman Returns, so they ran with that. And at one point, the plan was for Kevin Smith [...]

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• Ten Things You Should Know About Red Dawn 2012

  1 Comment »Posted in Kickpuncher's CornerDec 5, 2012

  

  1. Josh Peck is terrible in this. I didn’t watch Drake & Josh, so I wasn’t seeing him as an R&B singer’s plucky sidekick, but his idea of being an action hero is talking constantly in a prepubescent Batman voice. It’s hilarious. “Alfred, I had a funny dream about Catwoman and when I woke up [...]

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• The Problem with Bond Girls

  2 Comments »Posted in Kickpuncher's CornerNov 27, 2012

  

  In the old days, it was simple. If you liked something, you let it inspire you to create something new. Flash Gordon spawned Star Wars, E.E. Smith’s Lensman led to the Green Lantern, and various narcotic substances created Alice In Wonderland. These days, though, a combination of corporate branding and audience nostalgia has led to [...]

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• An Open Letter to Toby, The Paranormal Activity Demon

  No comments yetPosted in Kickpuncher's CornerNov 7, 2012

  

  Honestly, this is a little embarrassing for me. As you know, it is Hell’s eternal goal to destroy goodness and hope in the world, but lately we’ve been focusing on the Disney Project for that. Did you hear about Star Wars? We bought that. So your little program has not gotten the care that Management [...]

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