When I finished 7th grade, I switched schools. Middle school, while rough for everyone, had turned me – already an anxious kid – into a gibbering mess. My parents, seeking any and all means of ameliorating the situation, took me out of the private school I attended. I spent the first week of my eighth [...]

  In New Orleans Russell Brand got annoyed at a paparazzi taking his photo and hurled the dude’s iPhone, breaking a window. He hilarious said that he hated to see Steve Jobs’s memory being disrespected, but this didn’t stop a warrant for his arrest being issued. He turned himself in, he’s out again now, and [...]

If you are like me, David Bowie, codpiece and hair magnificently displayed in the 198os classic Labyrinth, stirred some unknown longing in your child-belly parts. Admittedly for me this feeling was first caused by a shirtless Kevin Sorbo, but that didn’t make my lust for Bowie any less strong, or any less confusing. As I [...]

  I kind of feel like maybe I would be friends with Jeremy Sisto, if only because his daughter is named Charlie-Ballerina and because when announcing the birth of his son he tweeted that he bought Charlie a teddy bear from her new brother and wondered if drizzling placenta on it wouldn’t make that more [...]

In the latest issue of (The Truth Is) Out (There) Magazine, Gillian Anderson chatted about having dated an array of ladies throughout her time on this planet. I am not sure why this is news? Unless they somehow worked in a B-Line to the new adaptation of Great Expectations she is in wherein she has [...]

Oh. My God. Julia. JULIA. JULIA GULIA WHY WON’T YOU WRITE YOUR PLAY? You guys I have lost my ability to appreciate Smash because the idea of the immortal Anjelica Houston clutching my hand, her eyes twin lipid pools capable of revealing the truths of the universe, quietly murmuring at me,  “I trust you,”  as [...]

People are outraged now that a series of photos taken last year show Donald Trump Jr. proudly standing around the animals he killed in Africa. I am not outraged, because uh, he is Donald Trump Jr? And only he could get so self-righteously indignant after killing AN ELEPHANT, CIVET, AND WATER CAT! Look, I am [...]

On the internet, all the gossips mavens are being all “You guys, Olivier Martinez confirmed that he and Halle Berry are ENGAGED!” Then they began squealing and frolicking through some lawn sprinklers. If this is true, awesome! But since Halle’s pretty anti-marriage and since what actually happened was a gaggle of paps were chasing Martinez [...]

Maybe it’s just me. Maybe I’m the only one who’s a little tired of mass media sci-fi being Plus One. There’s a lowest common denominator imagination going around. Everything is just the real world Plus One sci-fi element. Stargate is the real world Plus One stargate. Battlestar Galactica is the real world (business suits! Slugthrowers!) [...]

  It’s Friday, which means after work you are probably getting margaritas with a gaggle of women you refer to as your “bitches”, and that a celebrity couple is probably getting divorce. (I am so jaded that it’s actually sexy.) Today’s couple on the skids: Dennis Quaid, whose wife since 2004 filed the petition. Remember [...]