For about six months in 1997 I was obsessed with Xena. Not like its true fans of the day; I didn’t have posters or go to the internet to talk about it. I just recorded it and would come home on Monday afternoons and watch it. I would skip any episode that didn’t have Joxer [...]

Like any good episode this one begins with a fight between a bunch of dirty dudes with ill-advised tattoos. Xena wanders in and rather than force them all to bathe with fierce kicks she drops her sword, busts out a lisp and starts preaching against violence. Then she strips down and collapses into the arms [...]

Good old fashioned Xena. Bad wigs? Check. Bad set production value? Check. Fuzzy Kiwi accents? Check. Bizarre farcical humor? Check times a million. After two weeks of surprising ribeyes we’re back to a very solid meatloaf. And Xena, after interrogating a dude finds Joxer in the stock. Because he tried to steal a chicken. She [...]

This week begins with Gabrielle demanding to see the best friend she betrayed and we quickly learn that she was a monumentally naive woman and actually thought they’d capture Xena and then just let them leave. You can be mad at her but remember two things–she also thinks her devil baby can be good, and [...]

When last we saw Xena and Gabrielle there’d been the whole Hope debacle, and marking a turning point for the show when it comes to continuity, this begins kind of where that left off. Xena wakes up to find her boo bear sitting out in the darkness contemplating life. Valid after having a demon baby [...]

When last we saw them Gabrielle and Xena were cuddling in the shadow of Stonehenge. Now Gabrielle is in a crummy early 90s music video complete with funky color timing and long slow hugs with the woman she straight up stabbed. After some pan fluting and some more hugging Gabrielle pulls a knife out of [...]

Things start off light-hearted enough. Ares is doing some “sword” exercises when Discord shows up rocking a bad wig, a worst costume and a desire to talk about cults in England. It must be a big deal because all powerful gods are concerned and Ares has Julius Caesar handling the destruction of the cult’s temple. [...]

Things are crazy. Some Greek soldier in need of a lozenge does a sweet slide across the ground and gets sad about Athena messing with him. Then Ares pops in and points. Then Lord Zedd from Power Rangers shows up cued by some sweet guitar playing. He’s Ares new BFF and he has really bad [...]

It’s a beautiful day in Matte city and Xena is awoken by the sound of a rooster. The door opens and the morning light blinds her. Joxer is the jerk opening the door and he’s got goose eggs! They’re promptly destroyed by a falling horse shoe. It also smacks his head. No one cares. The [...]

And season 3 begins with Ares enjoying a show. I love the Furies’ idea of sexy dancing. And that lead Fury? Best over actor EVER. Also yikes ladies. Enough eye make up on them faces? Ares looks completely board with this. Furies he is not buying what you’re selling. He would rather the Furies go [...]