When last we saw Hauser, he was all “FIX MY LADY! SHE BROKEDED!” about Doctor Gee. The episode starts with the revelation that whatever magical sorcery is making the 63 spring forward in time untouched by the ravages of age hasn’t made them able to magic any ol’ bitch out of a coma. Instead, [...]

Last night, on Alcatraz, two kind of landmines were discussed – the kind that are a metaphor for a relationship, and the kind that will blow your legs off of your body and/or kill you.Was that in poor taste? I’m sorry. I’m not a nice or tasteful person when my patience has been tried – [...]

The most frustrating thing about watching Alcatraz is the sense that you are seven steps ahead of the protagonist. It’s enough to drive even the best recapper to a frenzy of angsty text messages directed towards her boss: This week brought us our very first guard – one of the proverbial good guys and erstwhile [...]

Last week, I dove into Alcatraz head first and spent three consecutive hours with the series, which gave me ample time for introspection and analysis. This week, however, I came to the sorry conclusion that Alcatraz is decidedly not as interesting when you aren’t watching it in mammoth blocks. In the episodes leading up to [...]

When our plucky chief Alex was all “Becca, would you please check out Alcatraz and see maybe if you want to recap it?” I sighed heavily and said, “FINE.” But I mean,  not because I was annoyed or anything. It was mainly because I am a rebel and thus, do not cotton to authority or [...]