The Vampire Diaries
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The Vampire Diaries Doesn’t Need Your Xbox When Corpses Rot
1 Comment »Posted in The Vampire DiariesFeb 22, 2013
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Elena’s insanity is only tempered when Bonnie is all “This is simple – we kill all humans, bring back all the supernatural dead – I don’t see why you guys aren’t on board here.” The Salvatores stand outside making crazy gestures to indicate Bonnie has lost her mind. Matt is being polite about her murderous impulses, Caroline – thankfully – has no time for it.
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The Vampire Diaries Goes On A Camping Trip While Hunting For The Cure
1 Comment »Posted in The Vampire DiariesFeb 11, 2013
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A recap of the 13th episode of the 4th season of The Vampire Diaries, “Into the Wild.” The Salvatore brothers drug a bunch of people to Canada to look for a cure while Klaus looks sad.
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The Vampire Diaries: A View To Kill
5 Comments »Posted in The Vampire DiariesFeb 1, 2013
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The hunt for the cure is on, Bonnie’s powers are out of control, and Stefan can’t stop sexing Rebekah.
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The Vampire Diaries: Catch Me If You Can
3 Comments »Posted in The Vampire DiariesJan 25, 2013
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This season’s homage to the Stanley Kramer classic “It’s a Mad Mad Mad Mad World” as enacted by the teens (immortal or otherwise) residing inĀ Mystic Falls, nexus of the universe, is underway. This race to find the cure (and woefully not the Cure, but rather, an antidote to the effects of vampirism) started out [...]
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The Vampire Diaries: After School Special is Special
2 Comments »Posted in The Vampire DiariesJan 18, 2013
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Hi! My name is Rebecca and you might remember me from this very website, where I have been quietly expounding upon my lust and fanfic-esque fantasies involving the brothers Salvatore. How are you? It’s been a while! Me? Oh I’m okay. I’m on the first day of my period which is not awesome, but I [...]
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The Vampire Diaries: O Come All Ye Faithful
1 Comment »Posted in The Vampire DiariesDec 17, 2012
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Recently, on a foray out to the movies, I was treated to an extended trailer for this season of TVD. I sighed towards the end and quietly said, “That is my favorite show,” to my movie companion who laughed. Then, he looked at my face, as silent and somber as the grave and went, “Oh [...]
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The Vampire Diaries: We’ll Always Have Bourbon Street
11 Comments »Posted in The Vampire DiariesDec 10, 2012
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After last week’s successful uniting of the loins of Damon and Elena was sullied by Caroline “Judging You” Forbes’s realization that Elena was in fact sired to Damon(‘s penis), the writers took a minute to assure us at the top of last week’s episode that we had not seen the last of the Delena sexing [...]
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The Vampire Diaries: My Brother’s Keeper
2 Comments »Posted in The Vampire DiariesDec 3, 2012
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I’m sorry this post is so late, but, as fans of the show, I’m sure you’ll understand exactly why: I have been feverishly touching myself ever since the last five minutes of last week’s episode. What?! Don’t tell me you’re still Team Stefan? I mean, I guess to each their own, but let’s look at [...]
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The Vampire Diaries: We All Go A Little Mad Sometimes
2 Comments »Posted in The Vampire DiariesNov 24, 2012
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It has long been my opinion – and those of our dear editor-in-chief – that the wacky gang of friends both mortal and im’ (who I am genuinely quite fond of) are quietly, socially awkward, psychopaths. They seldom think about how their actions effect others – not counting Elena, whose obsession with the feelings of [...]
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The Vampire Diaries: The One Where The Title Is A Play On Words
1 Comment »Posted in The Vampire DiariesNov 9, 2012
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At my funeral I would like for the entire current cast of the Vampire Diaries (I’m looking at you dead Aunt Jenna) to stand in a line over my coffin and recite in unison, “This, is my Mystic Falls…” continuing on with the opening exposition-based speech they have been giving at the beginning of each [...]

















