It is a well-known fact on this blog that Blake Lively once stole a Panettone that was meant for me. She went home and doubtlessly feasted on this free gift of sweet Italian fruit bread, while I wept and ate stale Triscuits and wailed about never getting to Moscow. There is no god. Well Lively [...]

Doing nothing to encourage America that their clan is reliable, mature, or trustworthy, Kardashian sibs Kylie and Kendall Jenner took a break from promoting something to bemoan their lost Chihuahua, Dolce. They loaned him to a friend who lost him. Yeah. Your friends are the worst, Jenners. Also – WHO LOSES A DOG? IT IS [...]

Leo DiCaprio ( I can call him Leo because we’ve made the beast with two-backs, and by made the beast with two-backs I mean, I  have seen What’s Eating Gilbert Grape many, many times.) is on the prowl down under! And I’m not just talking vaginally – the dude is hitting up ladies left and [...]

Green Lantern apparently had a “soft” opening. Its called “soft” because that emasculates its producers and makes them ashamed over ever releasing the film. It also means everyone is laughing at them because their opening wasn’t “hard” enough. Hollywood, stop being obsessed with penises ‘kay? And also since when is $52 million in three days [...]

The scope of Green Lantern is so epic you’d think you’d wandered into a video game or cartoon. Huge (and gorgeous) vistas of open space layered with twinkling stars and swirling galaxies. In 3D its stunning. Then you see your first alien and you still find yourself feeling as though you’re watching a video game [...]

Mere nano seconds after splitting with Hottie With An Israeli Body (Does she know Krav Maga? Answer: PROBABLY) Bar Rafaeli, that guy who was king of the world and also retarded kin to Johnny Depp is now dating that girl who is a Little Mermaid wannabe and the CW’s gaping-maw would-be queen. Ma’am, I care not [...]