When I read that former Sabrina and former Clarissa actress  Melissa Joan Hart was pregnant with her third child I started thinking about great it would be if she was pregnant with Salem the cat. Not his baby, but somehow, just him. Also, I vividly remember this movie where Melissa Joan Hart was evil? [...]

  Ha ha, you guys, you guys – Anna Paquin and her husband/co-star Stephen Moyer are having a baby! But that’s not why I’m laughing. I am laughing because of the article I’ve linked to here is all “True Blood? More like True Baby!” And really guys what does that even mean? What does it [...]

  Why is anything that happens on Twitter news? Why? WHY, YOU ALPHANUMERICAL RESTRICTING GOD IN YOUR CANNED SOUP  HEAVEN? EXPLAIN IT. But I can’t change the gossip-sphere guys, I can only try to pee at it from atop a mall parking garage, and even then, I mainly just expose and soil myself because I [...]

  Kelsey Grammer got his wife’s name – Katye – tattooed ON HIS HIP YOU GUYS. The only thing worse than blowing Kelsey Grammer would be seeing your name emblazoned upon doubtlessly thrusting hip. Oh man I just grossed myself out. Also there is a photo of him getting the tattoo where I am 90 [...]

I can’t lie, when I heard Ben Kingsley would be the baddie in the new Iron Man I was all “Oooooh my God Ben Kingsley will be playing Mandarin AND NOTHING HAS EVER BEEN MORE HILARIOUS TO ME!” but then all the media outlets were like “That will never happen because of how it is [...]

  In her continuing bid to make us all the saddest maybe that is possible when she dies – which, let’s be real guys, is any day now – Betty White had taken to the internet – to the Twitters, to be more particular about it. She has many followers and also tweeted at Ryan [...]

I went on vacation and the world decided it was time to be hilarious – Kim Kardashian is dating Kanye West. This makes perfect, perfect, perfect sense – totally explains why the world stills spins around merrily on its axis. And, Ima let their relationship finish, but Kim and Kris had the best relationship of [...]

  Today is Lady Gaga’s birthday. She is turning 26. I hope she eats cakes. Also, if you need me I’ll be in the corner quietly screaming into it and then later lining up my stuff to apply to PhD programs for fall of 2013 because this whole “it’s fine working this job that makes [...]

  Remember that band Jet? And how they had that one song all about how they wanted you to be their girl and they were curious if that was something you also wanted? Well yeah they are broken up now. NOW DANCE! [RollingStone] It isn’t really surprising that Bobby Brown was arrested for a DUI [...]

        Former VP Dick Cheney got a heart transplant this weekend. At 71, it’s hard to believe that he got the heart in question without using his relative celebrity and connections. I say this not just because he is Dick Cheney, a man who has done evil things, but also because he [...]