Xena and Gabrielle are fishing at the shores of a huge river. It is some VERY INTENSE fishing. Someone should tell them all that yelling isn’t good for the fishing. Gabrielle tries to comfort her breakfast and then reveals that she, not Darwin, invented the theory of evolution. Is that a superhuman feat? Her next [...]

Xena and Gabrielle have arrived at the edge of the sea and Gabrielle is inspired by it, as though she’s never been to the beach before. She tries to inspire Xena as well. It doesn’t work. Xena gets butcher and butcher as the discussion proceeds. I half expected her to grow a beard and readjust [...]

Woah this music is funky. I feel like I should be looking for some lesbionic vampires. Gabrielle and Xena aren’t doing that. Xena wants food and Gabrielle wants to haggle for no other reason then she can. They part and some ugly dude stares at Gabrielle. She goes to a cart and haggles for an [...]

Gabrielle is telling Xena a story about Meleager. Xena has heard this story. She is done with it. She would prefer stories about herself. They arrive in a town expecting to meet Meleager but find a bunch of sad sacks in dark clothes headed for court. Xena and Gabrielle follow because court is FUN. I [...]

So ADR Xena leaves stunt double Gabrielle in the middle of nowhere. Then she becomes real Xena and not a double in a bad wig and really goes and Gabrielle decides to be a hero in the middle of nowhere. Thankfully she runs into Joxer who—I think—just did a Xena cry. She is being so [...]

WAKING UP. Goons try to kill Xena but she picks up a dutch oven and frying pan and goes to town on them and REALLY seems to like it. She then wakes Gabrielle up with a squirt of water to the face and goes straight back to fighting and loving it SO MUCH. Gabrielle starts [...]

Xena’s alive, the Amazons are happy and Gabrielle’s passed her mask off to Ephiny. Now Gabrielle is a queen and possibly trumps Xena’s princess status. All is well. DANCING. Or screaming. That works. Velasca appears and calls everyone an idiot. Man, she’s all kinds of fucked up. Xena is kind of impressed she’s still walking, [...]

Woah hey that was a Thanksgiving eh? Oh you don’t live in the US and it was just Thursday? I’m sorry. I ate pie and pulled the spine and rib cage out of a turkey with my bare hands. Maybe I shouted some vaguely foreign sounding gibberish and pictured myself as the bad hat dude [...]

Thus begins four fantastic and nearly perfect hours of entertainment! Cirra, Callisto’s home. Xena burned it to the ground years before and she wonders where it all changed and she became evil. Gabrielle tries to look out for her and comfort her, but some things can’t be fixed with good intent and kind words. Xena [...]

Behold, the most awarded episode of Xena in the history of…Xena. And it all begins with Xena and Gabrielle taking a stroll on a beach that was once the sight of one of the bloodiest battles in Greek history…Xenian Greek History. Xenian…did I just make that word up. It’s a thing right. Gabrielle takes a [...]