It may be my birthday but never fear fearless readers I will get thee to the Xena recaps! That sentence made no sense whatsoever. Season 1, Episode 11: The Black Wolf Tea baggers. They’re everywhere. I bet this episode is an anthem for them. Oh man. NINJAS. Pale white NINJAS. They leave a coin as [...]

Season 1, Episode 10 Hooves and Harlots Ladies and gentlemen we are not in Greece anymore. We’re in Amazon country! Gabrielle is back to her farm girl outfit but she’s got a new walking stick. Xena turns on some whoosh sound effects and makes the staff look more awesome than it is. No sooner are [...]

Season 1, Episode 9: Death in Chains Once upon a time there was a king named Sisyphus. Knowing that he would one day die, he set a trap for Death herself. He failed to warn his soldiers about Death and a few died, but when she came to take his life he invited her to [...]

Season 1, Episode 8: Prometheus Some guys are sneaking up on a sleeping Xena and Gabrielle. They get in close and decapitate Xena. Only it’s a watermelon with a Xena wig. She fights all of them and Gabrielle takes a nap. Aw. One of the guys gets stabbed in the neck by his friend and [...]

I must stew on the Grey’s Anatomy finale and go see the new Pirates film so I can give you gentle readers a review. In the meanwhile here’s Xena trying to understand words. Season 1, Episode 7: The Titans Xena is way too happy about staring at some goons. She has Gabrielle watch Argo and [...]

Season 1, Episode 5: The Reckoning But really Xena, there is room on that horse. Gabrielle can sit up there. You’re officially a massive jerk for making her walk. She’s in a long skirt and peasant shoes and is complaining about pain. Jerk. But it’s for the best because Gabrielle goes off in search of [...]

    The internet depressed the shite out of me today on account of people being depressed about the lack of kick-ass women action heroes. So REMINDER: XENA EXISTS. Welcome back to the weekly installment of Xena Recaps. When we last saw each other we were in the first season, on episode five. You should [...]

Alexandra, you say, why are you posting this in the morning, when I cannot follow along on Netflix until this evening! I’m sorry; I really wanted to post it now.     Summary It begins. There’s a king and an old woman with special stones. Could she be telling a fortune? Possibly. She tells him [...]

Summary Gabrielle is battling the camera? Oh no nevermind. She just kicked a rotten stump’s ass. Xena has to play mom and tell her no, swords are not axes for chopping wood. This was really all about how Xena doesn’t want Gabrielle to learn how to fight. She especially doesn’t want Gabrielle to kill. She [...]

The second episode! Feel free to follow along. If you don’t want to shell out hundreds for the DVDs (fair enough) the watch on Netflix Instant. Summary Some place. A bar. Gabrielle is trying to woo Xena with tales of Greek mythology. Xena is way too butch to buy into that and suggests that she [...]