Monday night’s season finale of Smash was so lackluster that after I watched it, I went on a 48-hour long bender, fucking furries, doing intravenous drugs, and demanding strangers stab me with hypodermic needles full of adrenaline just “so I can remember what it is to feel something!” Ha ha, no, no, actually what [...]

I watched Game of Thrones last night before I watched Smash and I gotta say, it did not set the mood. By the time it was over I was all “Uuuuuggggggh so much jogging in the snow, not enough grinding in Ewok-like parkas!” I was cranky and did not want to watch the millennium’s answer [...]

  Last night’s latest installment of the Paul Lynde Comedy Hour, starring Ellis the spring-haired centaur sought to teach  three very important lessons about love, life, and New York City (“NEW YORK CITY?” bellow some old cowboys around a dying campfire.) Lesson 1: To successfully travel by train to Boston, all you need is a [...]

By the time Smash-o’clock arrived last night, and the greatest dramatic program since M.A.S.H. began warming the screens of every good American last night, I was halfway down the bottle of a reasonably priced (10 bucks you guys!) bottle of pinot noir, and still reeling from a 48-hour period that had presented me with bleak, [...]

  Last night the entire cast of Smash was murdered. They didn’t see it coming, but they should have. The very first morning Julia awoke in her quaint Brooklyn atrocity brownstone draping the saran wrap cloak festooned with the graying pubic fronds of the local delicatessen owner and began contemplating a musical to end all [...]

Last night’s epsiode of Smash didn’t stand a chance. I had planned on watching the show as I usually do – on my lunch break from my 8 – 5 job, hunched over my iPhone, taking notes and cackling into my turkey sandwich. But Amtrak had other plans. Or should I say Amtrak as assisted [...]

    There are three things you can always do to worm your way into a musical theatre actor’s good graces: Be fifteen minutes early always – AT LEAST – and chirp about how early is on time and on time is late and late is FIRED. Repeatedly and vociferously announce that you are taking [...]

Oh. My God. Julia. JULIA. JULIA GULIA WHY WON’T YOU WRITE YOUR PLAY? You guys I have lost my ability to appreciate Smash because the idea of the immortal Anjelica Houston clutching my hand, her eyes twin lipid pools capable of revealing the truths of the universe, quietly murmuring at me,  “I trust you,”  as [...]

What I love most about Smash is how I am 99% certain that Anjelica Houston just thinks she is starring in a documentary about herself. I bet at the end of every shooting day, she is genuinely puzzled when the crew packs up and she is all “No one desires to film my evening ablutions? [...]

  In the world of musical theatre, most audiences are happiest when you show them things they already know. Look at the success of basically every revival ever – give an audience the glorious return of Les Miserables and the squealing resounds. But try something foreign and unfamiliar in that hallowed and oft velvet draped [...]