It has long been my opinion – and those of our dear editor-in-chief – that the wacky gang of friends both mortal and im’ (who I am genuinely quite fond of) are quietly, socially awkward, psychopaths. They seldom think about how their actions effect others – not counting Elena, whose obsession with the feelings of [...]

At my funeral I would like for the entire current cast of the Vampire Diaries (I’m looking at you dead Aunt Jenna) to stand in a line over my coffin and recite in unison, “This, is my Mystic Falls…” continuing on with the opening exposition-based speech they have been giving at the beginning of each [...]

For all my sniping, Rebecca-the-Original (Never under any circumstances to be confused with my DJ name, The Original Rebecca) is arguably the most tragic character on a show rife with characters that make it their daily business to convince you that no, they are the most tragic, and the most hurt-feelinged, etc. Let’s examine the [...]

  How angry do you think Steve McQueen’s grandson was when he read the script for this week. Do you think he put down the script and was all “Wait, wait, wait, hold the goddamn phone – we’re having a motocycle episode and I’m not even in the SCENE? I AM STEVE MCQUEEN GRANDSON. I [...]

It’s Friday! Which means yesterday was Thursday! Which means that Vampire Diaries was on! Which means now I am recapping it! I am excited and nervous and gassy and scared and happy all at once! It is like I myself am a newly made vampire in transition! Or this guy!     I don’t think [...]

This is a recap. I’m going to say exactly what happened in the episode. So don’t be a tool bucket, read it, and then comment about how I ruin everything, okay? Because frankly, you have only yourself to blame.   The Vampire Diaries are back for season four, everyone, and I, like you all I’m [...]

For those of you who missed it – which is probably close to everyone since I didn’t announce I was doing it – I live-tweeted the TVD Finale last night. Our benevolent leader Alex joined in as well. You can catch up on our best witty one-liners, and our real-time reactions to the ending of [...]

  For such an immoral mother fucker, Klaus sure got put out of commission this past week, didn’t he? I have to admit, I was disappointed to see him go, and can only hope that when the time comes next season that we flash to his dessicated coma dreams of Caroline, nude upon a horse. [...]

In the small, sleepy town and erst-while nexus of the universe, Mystic Falls Virginia where every foreign locale is naught but a three-hour car journey away, it was early autumn. It is always autumn in Mystic Falls, this is a truth universally known and accepted, just as every Friday night there will be a decade [...]

  Okay guys. There was a lot of fucking plot that happened on the Vampire Diaries last night. A lot. So much. There were revelations, and twists, and cast members returning, and some suspiciously absent, and then there were guest stars who came back as ghosts who you might have to go Wiki to remember [...]